turning one year older, there's so much i wish for. to continue having a good health, having a good wealth, having more patience and find my mr right. and the most important is to continue feeling grateful for anything that Allah has set me thru.
nothing much to proud of as at this age despite the fact that i've been independent from the 1st day i set my foot in higher institution, i havent yet achieve things from my wishlist. still struggling to keep pace with others from my age, but it seem the harder i try, the greater the distance.
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having so much emotion in myself leaving me feeling like a time bomb. bakal meletup je bila2.
in the end of the day, what i longing for was an answer. an honest one to keep myself at peace.
without it, i cant really going thru the day without assuming, thinking and even blaming myself for what had happened. it indeed eating me inside out. wishing that everything will turn out to be stagnant and i can scream my lung out. for real.
having someone whom u thought was a friend, who will accept you regardless when you are at your best or at your worst state of mind and situation was a bless.
but having someone that u didnt know his status whether he is still your friend or an enemy hurt every bit of the heart. to know that he is somewhere near but unreachable. to not know what actually been running in his mind. and i'm not okay.
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i thought to myself, you can endure it for another year! yet, didnt plan to spill out everything to someone else that is so dear to me. and now i might risk another friendship at stake. what a fool!!
sekarang ni nak nangis. nangis sehabisnya. dan kemudian hilang?
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