jam da dekat kol 1 pagi
tapi aku baru je habiskan nasi goreng
simple je- nasi, telur, ikan bilis, bawang and cili.
terasa macam dolu2..

dulu aku malam2 selaluu je lapar
rumah aku jarang nak ada biskut2 ke jajan ke benda2 simple nak kunyah2
memang standby barang2 basic je- bawang, cili api, ikan bilis, nasi
so, bila ko da rasa lapar yang amat
and satu rumah pun da lena tidoo
maka, nak tanak aku gigihkan diri jugak tumbuk ape yang ada
campak2 dan maka jadilah nasi goreng...
sedapp makan panas2
tak sedapp pun, sebab panas2 dan lapar, maka still akan terasa nikmat

and my "dulu" is as in 7,8,9 years ago
masa tu badan adalah kecik
metabolisma tinggi. makan banyak, tak efek sangat
so, tadee la rasa bersalah sangat dengan diri sendiri
tapi sekarang. alamak. gulp....
there goes my diet plan...T________T

few days ni, aku rasa a bit off
tak sure. tak tau. tak pasti
like something is missing
and i'm planning of searching my old self back
then again, i'm not that strong
and having to have lost few reasons of being strong
lagi la rasa depressing
ke aku ni ada early symptom of menopause? chaaiitt......

entahla...
pernah tak korang rasa macam nak terbang
jauh jauh jauh gile
macam tu jela lebih kurang ape aku rasa

hurmm...
this blog has been a -place for me to stop by once in a while
to meroyan
to merajuk
to meluahkan
even not everything tapi most of the thing is here
and certain thing kinda have a personal impact on me
having it post in as public view,
pastu certain people that i know might have end up reading what i read
then aku rasa awkward
yelah,
aku cerita2 selama ni melibatkan sangat general
and tanak la kot2 ada yang rasa "eh, dia ni tulis pasal ni" "eh, dia ni tulis pasal tu"
alaaa...tahla..rasa tak best
maybe aku akan well, shift this feeling to somewhere else
nak private kan blog would be a funny thing to do since yela selama2 ni da public
tetiba private pastu cam entahla

bukan merajuk. or lari. or whatever u might call it
tapi lebih kepada finding myself again
yup, aku ni selalu je rasa macam kat outer space
pegun tatau mana hala tuju
and itu tidak best
dan saya plan nak kumpul duit
nak gi somewhere only HE knows
and semoga dipermudahkan
sebab i dont think that i can hold on anymore.
nak cerita pada orang, pendapat orang lain2
so, akan end up tak fully sampai message aku
maka saya rasa baiklah saya yang settlekan sendiri

to my dearest, i know u would be silently reading this
being a good friend is one thing
but being a human is another
and i know i'm a complicated humanbeing that u might have known all ur life
i cant really tell what's going on
coz i just dont know
and i'm bad at explaining things
if only i can pull out my heart and show it all~~~
so maka walaupun sesiapa kata "dont" sana sini based on their experience
harap maaf
saya tanak belajar kenal diri sendiri dengan experience kamu
let me have my own bittersweet memory of finding things my way

hmmmm...
suka sangat nak crammed pat lima nam cite jadi satu
tapi lantoklah
malas nak asing2kan entri.