My Monday is not that blue...

So yesterday before I went back to A.gajah,
My mother told me "it is sunnah to look inside your shoes before u wear them"
and I was like "uh oh"

This morning when I'm ready for work,
I put on my shoes (ya, u guess it right. W/o looking inside it)
then suddenly my toes feel like it touch slimy thing
and guess what, it's Frog The Prince..lol
Today I learnt my lesson...

1) Always listen to your mother (well, there are things like "hey lets go to big bad wolf" but we sort of like no budget --- this is an exception to disagree with my mother)
2) Never ever kiss a frog that sat inside your shoes. Thou there might be a chance he will turn out to be a handsome prince from far far away land, just don't.


He may have smell disorder....

Like hello, shoes?

hahaha

3) When u have a hunch to wear raincoat before going to work, do follow. Your hunch is stronger than you thought.

You don't want to show up looking drench like a cat who lost its way home.

Oh well, I don't look like a cat when I drench. I look horrible. but, you get the geez.


4) If a man willing to travel all the way from Malacca to PJ after work (everyday), marry him. Coz travelling is very energy-sucking activity (I feel exhausted travelling this past weekend).

But of course, make sure he is not a married man! lol.

5) Never ever overeat on weekend (which I always forget, like I always forget about dieting. haha) coz chances are you will have trouble getting into your uniform on Monday morning..haha

Well, I already learn 5 lesson in just about few hours after waking up. While everyone else have Monday blues, I myself, strongly feels like having Monday rainbow =P

lots of color with different story.

Turning 18 for the 9th time =P

I miss writing
I am not an avid writer
but I feel comfort in writing (except for writing report . this one I have a love-hate relationship. haha)

my mother thought that i'll become a novelist
I did write a few short romantic novel yearsss back
but I didn't keep track of it.
I bet the 'novel' go missing when we moved out from one house to another.
if it is still exist, I don't think I can bear reading my 'childish' and verangan way of writing. hahaha

I consider myself as sentimental but most of the time I am very blur
blur and slow to detect any emotional changes around me
and when I realize, it is either too late or I'm too hurt to even feeling a thing

people think of me as emotionally unstable. haha
well, I cannot complaint because I cannot see from their point of view nor they can see from mine.
that's why (I think) I always end up fighting with the one I love

'growing up' take a lot of your energy and sanity
(now u know why Tanjung Rambutan is full with adult)
if there is a choice to remain as kids, i'll be the first one to sign up for it =P

but this is how The Almighty 'design' our world
we need to grow up to be His Khalifah
we need to grow up because it is our nature as human

sometimes I wonder whether I am grown up enough to be---
responsible as a daughter
responsible as a wife
responsible as a mother

growing up doesn't necessarily mean you are turning one year older,
growing up means you are mature enough to admit your mistake
and.....
mature enough to admit that you are just a human being
who make and learn from mistake...
but one thing for sure,
for me ---
age is just a number (hence the title. lol)

yearly birth celebration is just a ritual to remind everyone your age count is increasing (plus getting some present for yourself. yay!)
a ritual to remind yourself that you need to buy your own house, a car, putting aside for saving, travelling more etc
little that we (read: me) are reminded that our life is getting shorter,
shorter by a day, or a month or a year...
who knows?

happy growing up to me
as much as I like you (gila. cakap dengan diri sendiri) to have a stable life, stable career, stable emotion....
I also hope that you are being reminded that your time is near...
go on and chase your dream career, car, life or whatnot
but never forget you are always the servant of Allah...
 

Dear Ida?

 Dear Ida,

Setiap kali Isnin kau selalu rungsing
takut uniform tak muat sebab on weekend tak sedar makan banyak time kenduri kawin *yelatu*
tapi bila Berjaya sarung je kau terus lupa diri

morning break makan
lunch pun makan
belum kira in between munching
kau tak ingat ke kau kena diet? haha

ituari kan dah turun 5kg,
kenapa naik balik 6kg?
kau ni matematik kemain A tapi....tapi..
tau tak ni maksudnya apa?
u are 1kg heavier!
eh, jangan nak pura2 terperanjat la

kenapa aku je semangat nak kurus
tapi kau ni degil boleh tahan?
nak buat macam mana lagi?
takkan nak tunggu Faizkhaleed (*dia ni peminat ostronot. hihi) depan mata and paksa?
hahahamboiii dia tu......

ni nak masuk 2015 azam kurus 2014 gi mana?
ish, kau ni la kan.
pipi bulat tapi degil (ada kene mengena. percayalahhh...)

chaiyok2 dengan kerja baru
stress are allowed but don't over-stress
sikit2 dahla

kata nak kumpul duit
macam2 kononnya wishlist la, bucket list la, nak kawin list la
tapi seronok berbelanja eh.
aku peratiii je

aku harap lepas baca ni kau dapat berubah
kalau tak...

kalau tak kau bedah. pffttt....



Sincerely,
Your-slim shaddy-like-Angelina-jolie inner voice

Orang bajet busy update...huahua

Assalammualaikum....


Dah berhabuk bersawang blog ni fuh fuhh *tiup sikit*
My very first intention when I started blogging is to keep updated of my own routine,
to treat this as my virtual diary,
nampaknya tidak la konsisten.

Maybe because I lead a simple life -
Takde banyak benda nak cerita
or maybe because too often cerita aku bersifat emotional
which only sooth the heart briefly
whilst doing damage to others, i dunno maybe permanently?
or maybe i am just plain lazy? hahaha

So what happened for the past one month?

I am officially out of my comfort zone!!
Phew~~

Aku kan asyik rasa the grass is greener on the other side of the field,
Nak rasa sangat kan??
So sekarang ni biar kau rasa sendiri
But little that I know,
The other side of the field is greener but...
it also means a lot of energy required to fertilize and water the field
so I can always enjoy the greener green

Too early to pass any judgment but what I can summarize as of to date is---
there is no work with no challenges.
the difference would be on how big the challenge is...
You either take it or leave it

I am blessed because I am given the opportunity to expand
and Insyaallah I will make out the best of this opportunity,
and survive like I always did =)

2015 is just 29 days away...
I wont be declaring my resolution this year
because it is basically the same---
to improve and be a better muslim, a better person, a better friend, a good daughter.
to shed all this fat and be healthy*insert crying mode here*
eh, ni dah terbagitau ke cane ni? haha

By the way,
those yang wish to buy Treenea VCOA boleh direct ke Azzain Klang Sentral
And kalau orang Alor Gajah dan sewaktu dengannya (Yup, aku dah berhijrah kerja dan diri ke Alor Gajah)
yang interested boleh sms/whatsapp +6011-37965158 (Ieda). Semua akan direply after 6pm, so kalau taknak stress sebab tunggu reply lama nau, sila sms/whatsapp after 6pm. Insyaallah laju replynya. hahaha


 

Self reflection

It is always easier to lie and say that you are okay,
rather than taking time and finding the right words to explain what do you feel;
because words, either verbal or in black and white, will be digested differently by different people. 

At times I wish that I could just rip my chest open and show them what is really in my heart. Life would be much easier except for that ugly scar on my chest (due to frequent attempt to show what's inside. lol)

but the more I think about it, 
I am guilty of misunderstanding people too
That mostly happened when I have built my judgement first, before listening to others --- 
I end up listening more to myself rather than to the other person who deserve it. Pretty selfish i know.

Have you ever think that whatever things that happen to us, happen for a reason? 
it comes as a test;
it comes as a blessing; and 
it comes as a reflection to ourselves

but often we didnt realise the last one - reflection
because, honestly speaking, reflection is the least thing that I would consider 

There is so much for me to reflect on
25 years of living, I am nowhere near being angel who is free of sin
Allah knows me well what have I done to Him, to others and even to myself
He knows how much destruction that I have done due to my stubbornness, hormone (raise your hand womaann... hormone is our number one enemy that we have to keep dealing with every month for a week or two...) and whatnot

TQ mr gugel

I cant promise a well behave Ida in the future,
knowing myself, I would slip my tongue or turn into EmoBie (Emotional zombie who would kill anyone who just urgghhh dont agree with us. haha. this EmoBie has lots to do with hormone. I just couldnt relate -_-")
but I will slowly improve myself to be a better person, a better daughter, a better friend, a better muslimah in and out. Insyaallah. 

Hence, let me mark today as the day where I hope and pray to Allah that I will be more patience, more sane (rolling eyes to myself at the thought of it. haha), more self-reflecting than before, more humble and more grateful...

Jalan Raya

Dulu masa tinggal di Shah Alam,
Hari2 berulang S.alam-KL-S.alam
sekurang-kurangnya 5 hari seminggu, 
20 hari sebulan,
aku akan lalu tempat LRT construction (sebelum tol Batu 3)
sekarang sekurang-kurang seminggu sekali aku akan lalu jalan yang sama
untuk ke Batu Tinggi, Klang.

Pemandangan hampir sama
manusia berkejar-kejar dengan masa untuk pulang atau mungkin ada yang lewat ke tempat kerja shift malam
ada juga manusia yang, aku selalu sematkan dalam fikiran, memotong kerana "kecemasan". 

Di Malaysia, emergency means not giving signal, cut que and drive like you are the only person paying toll. *Imej ihsan gugel*

ini bukan cerita memotong berhemah, 
tapi yang kategori memotong guna emergency lane
memotong tak bagi signal
memotong sesuka hati
seboleh mungkin aku akan bersangka baik
kerana itu lebih baik dari aku bersangka buruk dan terfitnah mereka yang betul2 dalam "kecemasan"

tapi aku bukan nak cerita pasal manusia yang punya kereta hebat
atau motor yang laju bikin aku makan asap
aku nak cerita pasal pemandangan yang sama, 
seorang pekerja contractor duduk menjaga trafik (read: trafik lori bawa barang construction keluar masuk)
duduknya dia dalam satu pondok tidak berdinding, hanya bertiang 4 dan beratap zink
tidak kira cuaca - hujan, panas, mendung...dia tetap setia

Imej construction ehsan gugel

kadang2 bila audit client construction company,
lebih kurang pemandangan yang sama
hujan panas bekerja

bila membeli barang dapur,
mereka2 ini yang selalu aku nampak dijalanan
perih bekerja hujan panas
mereka ini membeli barang dapur yang asas sahaja. bawang, garam, beras, kicap, telur. 

tidak bermewah-mewah
tetapi dinegara asal, mereka harapan keluarga.

aku tabik- kekuatan, kegigihan, kecekalan mereka untuk survival
bila melihat ini, 
baru ku sedar, kisah survival ku bukan la hebat mana
aku hanya hero dalam dunia sendiri
lebih ramai lagi hero yang lebih jerih, lebih hebat kisah mereka
tak terbanding rasanya

aku harap hati aku tak terus buta dan mendabik dada
tak juga mudah putus asa
kerana kesenangan aku sekarang --- ada lagi yang lebih senang
kepayahan aku sekarang --- hanya secebis ujian dunia




motivasi ada dimana-mana
pandanglah --- bukan dengan mata, tapi dengan hati yang bersyukur.

Changes

Changes are not easy
nor does it hard
it is all depends on the heart

As for me, making good changes are more challenging than you know...... doing 'bad'.
Especially when you are living in the community where changes are not an everyday thing, hence, the stigma etc.

But if changes are good for me, no one should say otherwise
Although I didn't know what the future holds, what the risk I'm taking or what is the result of my 'change' - I believe in one thing:
Whatever happen, consequences of the decision that I made today, I always have Allah to rely on.

And I hope, this heart will never forget that He is the one who permit whatever happen in my life.

I hope this heart will never forget to say Alhamdulillah.

I hope this heart will never forget that giving more is equal to receive more.

I hope this heart will never forget, how high I fly, the earth is where I belong.

I hope this heart will never feel regret, because history has proven that whatever happen to me in the past, has resulted to a wiser, smarter me- today.

I hope this heart will never forget...