there were times when i felt wrong

and done wrong.

there were times when i stood still trying to figure out things that i ever done.

there were times when i regret those things that i should or shouldn't do.

those were the time that discourage me to believe in myself any more.

to think back and realise that i'm the one that makes things happened today, that somehow make stupid mistakes, that always do things before thinking straight, i somehow find it hard to forgive myself.

call me a pathetic woman who u may thought seeking for attention,

but i'm just a lost girl trying to figure the world out. the always unknown world.

maturity does increase within times but not necessarily with age.

i still consider myself an immature human beings.

who somehow stumble herself into confusion that she helps to create.

this were one of the days that i reminisce the times that i've lost to something that just not worth it.

this were one of the days that i see a clear blue sky as rainy day.

days that other people call it gloomy.

for me it aint just gloomy. it's moody.

i cant really put my feeling into words, but the words certainly not "happy"..

i'm a pessimist who sees her glass as half empty. i'm uncertain. and confused.

help me doctor, prescribe me with an antidote. i'm afraid the confusion will turn out as a disease.

for people like me, whose sun is not so sunny, tomorrow is always day that we afraid and yesterday always have something that we regret.

pity us for being so funny.

pity us for thinking so many

pity us for we rarely can describe happy

pity us for being so clumsy

pity us for thinking we are unlucky

pity us for acting childishly.

for all we know, this world is scary...

full with angry people that always act meanly..

we might be smiling, but inside it's all burning,

struggling with all the confusing things..

so, if u happened to know someone like me, 911 it's an emergency.

if they seem lost and far from sanity, bear with them and guide them slowly.

we dont need another confusing people to judge us more, instead we need a friendly advice to let strength flow...

this is natural things that happened itself. we dont made it up we too so confuse ourselves =(

terkedek2 bukak blog...


malas...gile ngko tu da mcm middle name plak.. ida pemalas gilos..sesuwaaaiii le sangat.

takde cite best. kalo ada pun, ada je benda potong stim. cth mcm wimax line tetiba kejung. itu le gamoknye kalo ddk kwsn crowded dgn student.

so, akhirnye ak terjadi la pemalas ubi nak tulis ape2. cume rajin memblog walking..huuu...

dulu ak suka menulis. gedik2 tulis diary. kalo suka someone, gedik2 bagi kod rahsia takut diary kantol...haha..pastu da setahun dua, bukak diary, maluu....sbb sentiasa rasa diri yg dulu kebudak-budakan...
rs maluu sbb terpernah tersuka org itu la, org ini la...rs maluu sbb gi cerita pasal stress exam padahal byk main..tengok balik nyesal pun ada.hahaha...beginilah nasib kalo da orgnye emosi..sampai ak
heran where the hell did i have so much of energy utk beremosi beria.....T_______T
mula2 buat blog, niatnye nak jd diary la. supaya nti da besor, bc balik... reminiscing cara moden katonyo. tapi da kalo pemalas tu, mls jugak le...hwahwahwa..

anyway,
my plan pegun tu semua da gerak balik =)
alhamdulillah konvo sy bulan ni 20hb.
rasa beban da lepass..
and semua plan mula start balik slowwwlly..
result ritu kuar lewat. ak punye le gerun, rs nak give up. tapi alhamdulillah Tuhan permudahkan...

bulan 4 tak byk cerita...sana sini kfc je. sian ak. tapi da start la apply keje sana sini...
akhirnye dapat keje kat seksyen 26. basic kalo bandingkan dengan org lain, mmg segan la kan.. tapi sebab sedor diri yg tak berapa nak bijak, experience pun tadee, cable pun tadee, luck belum adee, so ak terima jugak. sbb penat keje kfc. stress gile. and lgpun even ak full time kfc, experience tak byk. tadee yg nak dibanggakan dalam resume. so, all and all, ak terima jugak la...sesambil collect experience and tunggu better offer.

rezeki org bukan boleh tilik2...setiap jalan ditentukan ada hikmah. kengkadang terjeles la tengok org2 yg senang dapat keje, tapi ngko punye resume pun tak impressive mana =(

mak ak suro jadi cikgu, tamau plak...

lagi ada hati mau melawan....nak memilih...konon tak kena dengan jiwa..

yg sebenarnye, jiwa ak yg tak kena dengan keje cikgu ni.. sabarnye kurang, asyik nak cepat je, kang ada anak murid ak nangis cikgu ngajor mcm lrt..hahaha...

all and all, da 3 bln lebih habis study. mcm tak percaya je...and dekat 2 thn da ak dengan kfc.
ms berlalu mcm angin. sedor tak sedor da berlaluu..

semoga bulan 5 ni bakal jadi exciting month utk ak. konvo, member kawin, dpt keje,

semoga bulan seterusnya akan lebih baik...

semoga plan setahun, 3 thn, 5 thn ak berjalan lancar.

amin...